Additional Sample Essay (Score = 3)

In this debate of extending high school to five years, I will have to say that it is a very good idea to extend high school for one more year. We as future adults need a better in-depth study in our courses. Instead of just flying through a unit and learning the next unit by skimming just the top of the subject, as happens in Math, Science, Social Studies, or the English and Lititure classes. This will not prepare us for working in these areas on our own. We need to study them deeper.

Another way to benifit from an extra year of high school is, to have a carrer training program for your choice of a carrer pathway. In this program you can get an idea of what employers and colleges are looking for, and the expectations from the carrers you are looking at. This will help to have a better chance at finding the working area that suits you best.

It is also a great option for many people that just give up because they get to a point that no matter what they do, they won't have the required amount of credits to graduate. This will give them reason to keep trying rather than just drop out. It is difficult to get any job without a high school diploma.

American high schoolers need to have a better education in order to keep up with the world, to be better prepared for the tough competition that goes on in the job-market, and to have the chance to finish enough credits to graduate. One more year is needed.

Scoring Explanation

This essay shows some developing skill in responding to the writing task. The writer takes a position and offers only the thinnest context for discussion (In this debate of extending high school to five years, I will have to say that it is a very good idea to extend high school for just one more year). The essay does not acknowledge a counter-argument to the writer's position.

Development of ideas is limited and exhibits little movement between general statements and specific examples (In this program you can get an idea of what employers and colleges are looking for, and the expectations from the carrers you are looking at. This will help to have a better chance at finding the working area that suits you best).

The essay has a simple organization; three main ideas are grouped into three paragraphs. There is no evidence of logical sequencing of ideas either within or between paragraphs. Simple transitions are used between ideas (Another, also). The conclusion of the essay is clearly discernible though underdeveloped, but the introduction exists only as an opening position statement.

Language use demonstrates basic control, with a little sentence variety (In this program you can get an idea of what employers and colleges are looking for, and the expectations from the carrers you are looking at) and appropriate word choice. Errors are sometimes distracting.

First Sample (Score = 3)