Level 2 Business Writing

Sample Item

Prompt:

At your office, employees are allowed to skip their morning and/or afternoon breaks to take longer lunch breaks. However, the personnel manager says that employees have been taking too much time on their lunch breaks as a result of this policy. She wants to require all employees to take their morning and afternoon breaks and the standard lunch break. Write a letter to the personnel manager explaining whether or not you are in favor of this proposal and why.

Level 2 Sample Response

I agree with your thoughts on having all the employees take theur morning and afternoon breaks, and having the standard lunch break. If this idea happens. I'd think that there will be more work done and more people at the office to answer phones during the time that would have normally been spent out at a long lunch.

Althouh I'd understand. If a person need to work through theur break, but I'd think that they dont need an extra 15 minuets to lunch. When there isn't much to do then they can take a break and make up for the one they lost.

I'd think the idea of having all employees take there morning and afternoon break would be a good change. Pleas go ahead with your plan. Thanks for your time.

Why this is a Level 2 response:

The sentences are somewhat repetitive, and there are some construction errors, including sentence fragments (If this idea happens. and Althouh I'd understand.).
Errors in grammar and mechanics interfere somewhat with communication. Errors include misspellings such as theur, althouh, minuets, and Pleas; the subject-verb disagreement If a person need to work; the incorrect use of there instead of their in the last paragraph; and a missing apostrophe in dont.
The style, tone, and language are inconsistent with standard business English. The use of the phrase I'd think several times makes the tone overly casual.
The writing has some organization, but the focus is unclear. Few transitions are used. Transitions used are limited to If, but, and although.
The ideas are general and are not expanded. There is some development of the writer's thoughts in favor of the proposal, but it is limited in nature.

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